Hello from my home studio filled with linseed oil smells, podcasts, to do lists, piles of papers, and half finished paintings!
It’s in this space that I solve painting problems like the weird, shiny shape that has taken over the background in my painting, or… how do I make Costco’s aluminum foil look sexy? Why does my brain sees two colors at once? (It’s red and yellow, which is entirely different from orange.) And then the constant crisis: what does it all mean? When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I find myself here in my studio to make a list or a schedule or a spreadsheet. While I don’t want to only write about mental health struggles, here I am again. Perhaps it’s a side product of moving to a new country as an introvert who is struggling to find a job? Perhaps writing helps me sort it a bit more.
Much like my beloved spreadsheets, worksheets organize data and help you to learn while filling them out. As an artist who likes to her use hands to learn things, they’re pretty helpful. Math problem sets taught me differential equations and calculus. I meticulously drew the areas under the curve and watched the magic of variables falling away to offer answers to the chaos. These days the chaos is in my own brain, and I’ve found a therapist who is helping me with breathing exercises, new thought patterns, and worksheets for my anxieties. My goal is to allay my social anxieties so as to be more confident in myself and career.
Today is a good day. And I’ve been having a lot of those recently. I can feel my brain being healthier. Last Friday we looked at my Worry Journal together and laughed at two entries: “new American president” and subsequently “bagels.” Current politics are not helpful for someone with anxiety right now. These anxieties have moved from the “potential” to the “current” column on my worksheet. For someone who needs to do things with her hands, this felt impossible. Continue reading “Anxiety worksheets”